Chapter Seventy-Six: Framed

Yun Hao and Chai Shao were staying in a small room, which in modern times would be considered a VIP suite. Qi Biao and Lai Shun, however, were not so lucky. The two brothers were assigned to a vast bathhouse, inside which was a pool-sized bath. A crowd of naked men swam happily within!

By the time Yun Hao arrived, the place was in utter chaos. All the men had scrambled out of the pool, with many cursing angrily at whatever was left inside.

Qi Biao gestured emphatically, “It’s him, I saw it. He’s the one, that kid defecated in the pool! Look, the turd is still floating there.”

Yun Hao stared intently, and sure enough, a large, yellowish-black object floated on the water’s surface, bobbing up and down with the waves, nauseating to behold. A young man with disheveled hair was desperately trying to climb out of the pool, but wherever he attempted to leave, a big foot would immediately kick him back in. Some of the more brutish men even ordered the attendants to fetch bamboo poles, intending to beat him to death in the water.

What on earth was happening? Yun Hao was bewildered. He’d heard of people urinating in pools, but never defecating. This guy had actually relieved himself in a hot bath, making him a true oddity among oddities.

Men of this era all wore their hair long, and once wet, everyone looked like something out of a horror story. With everyone naked, it was impossible to distinguish anyone. The manager, likely encountering such a spectacle for the first time, angrily fetched bamboo poles. The whole pool of men surrounded the unfortunate fellow, barring his escape.

The man was miserable, calling out incoherently, only to swallow water with every shout. Nobody could understand his cries. Surrounded and beaten, he was soon unable to stand. Afraid someone might die, the manager ordered the bamboo poles put away, and had two attendants fish him out. No matter what, a death would not be taken lightly.

Qi Biao tugged Yun Hao’s arm, exchanged a glance with Lai Shun, and quickly hustled Yun Hao away.

“What are you two up to?” Yun Hao asked curiously, not understanding the situation. He hadn’t even seen who was in the pool; what kind of eccentric would defecate in a bath?

“Wu Yuan Shuang!” Lai Shun whispered, and Yun Hao broke free from the two oafs, his legs moving swiftly—but not toward the suite. Instead, he ran toward the crowd. Wu Yuan Shuang had been beaten; this was entertainment. Yun Hao wanted to see him miserable, to lift his own spirits.

Wu Yuan Shuang, dragged out of the water, was in a pitiful state, his wet hair plastered to his body, completely naked, like a drowned ghost on display for all.

Yun Hao, small and slight, wormed his way through the throng of naked men and soon reached the front. The manager, pinching his nose as if Wu Yuan Shuang reeked, used a bamboo pole to part his hair.

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“Wu Family’s eldest son…!” Everyone was stunned; no one had expected this to be the eldest son of the Wu clan. The men who had been most enthusiastic in the beating shrank back, and the manager was at a loss.

The Wu family had been established in Jinyang for a century, a true aristocratic clan in the city. Though such gentry would only be considered well-off in Chang’an or Luoyang, here in Jinyang they were local tyrants. Wu Yuan Shuang was remarkable—despite his young age, he had entered the Imperial Academy and apprenticed under the Crown Prince’s tutor, Li Gang, also known as Li Wenji. His prospects were limitless; few in Jinyang did not know him. Now, having assaulted the local tyrant’s son, the bathhouse owner rushed over like a whirlwind.

The odd thing was why this wealthy and powerful heir wasn’t in a private suite with beautiful maids attending him, but instead in the public pool. It didn’t suit his status.

In truth, Wu Yuan Shuang could hardly be blamed. It wasn’t out of a desire to mix with the commoners; Chai Shao had reserved all the suites that day. Wu Yuan Shuang arrived to find nowhere else to bathe, and, frustrated, wanted nothing more than to relax in the bath. So, when Qi Biao and Lai Shun recognized him, disaster struck.

Yun Hao’s eyes were wide with delight, watching Wu Yuan Shuang, battered and bruised, feeling immensely satisfied. “Damn, he dared to plot against me. Now that he’s fallen into my hands, let’s see how he likes it.”

“My heavens! Who struck the Wu family’s eldest son? Seize the culprits and hand them over for him to deal with!” The bathhouse owner, quick-witted, scanned the crowd and saw no one of influence—just a few wealthy pigs. His courage swelled; in Jinyang, one could only survive with smarts.

Places like this always kept muscle around. At the owner’s command, the tattooed brutes immediately pounced on those who’d been most active in beating Wu Yuan Shuang.

“Stop! He defecated in the pool and you did nothing, now you’re attacking those who acted for justice?” Yun Hao’s childish voice rang out, causing the tattooed men to halt. They all knew this child: an honored guest of Lord Chai from the Duke of Tang’s residence. The one who took off his boots at the entrance—who wouldn’t recognize him?

“Uh… young master…” The owner was almost in tears. Those scoundrels were nothing compared to this child, a true troublemaker. Even Lord Chai treated him respectfully—what was his own status compared to this little ancestor?

“Yun Hao…” The owner didn’t finish his sentence, but Wu Yuan Shuang, now recovering, saw everything clearly. Rage surged within him at the thought of Yun Hao stealing his betrothed. Enraged, Wu Yuan Shuang struggled to his feet and lunged at Yun Hao. “Yun Hao! Don’t think the Duke of Tang’s residence protects you—there’s nothing stopping me. The Duke of Tang is nothing; today I’ll strangle you and see who can stop me.”

Before he reached Yun Hao, a leg shot out like a venomous dragon, landing squarely in Wu Yuan Shuang’s stomach. The pain doubled him over like a shrimp.

“Hmph! Unseemly conduct and vile words. Let’s see, here in Jinyang, whether it’s the Duke of Tang’s residence or your insignificant Wu family’s Eagle-Command Guard that holds sway.” Chai Shao, draped in a robe, stood imposingly before Yun Hao. He hadn’t intended to intervene, but Wu Yuan Shuang’s insults against the Duke of Tang’s residence, and his attempt to harm Yun Hao, forced his hand. Yun Hao was a veritable money tree; not even a hair could be harmed.

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Wu Yuan Shuang was in too much pain to speak, and Chai Shao glared at him, then ordered his attendants, “Seize him! Take him to the Jinyang magistrate—report him for indecent conduct. There are plenty of witnesses here!”

Chai Shao surveyed the crowd; the men who’d been beaten perked up immediately. In Jinyang, the real power lay with the Duke of Tang’s residence. The Wu family’s Eagle-Command Guard meant nothing in comparison. With the Duke’s favor, who would fear the Wu clan? If they could use this chance to connect with the Duke’s household, they might even gain some benefits.

As the crowd grew excited, Yun Hao slipped away. He ducked into the suite to dress, only to find Qi Biao and Lai Shun already fully clothed and waiting inside.

“Did Wu Yuan Shuang really defecate in the pool?” Yun Hao was curious. To manage such a feat in the bath seemed a technical accomplishment.

“No!” Lai Shun replied honestly, in his simple manner.

“Then what was floating on the water…?” Yun Hao was even more perplexed. That thing looked exactly like a turd.

“I had fried dough sticks for breakfast—left one over!”

Good heavens!