Chapter Twenty-Seven: Yunhao's Revenge

Qi Guoyuan was floating in the water like a turtle. His belly felt as though it were boiling, and bubbles of gas kept escaping in a continuous stream. From above, it looked as if the water itself were simmering. Hornets buzzed menacingly around the surface, and every time Qi Guoyuan surfaced for a breath, some fierce one would dart toward him, scaring him back under so quickly that only the reeds bore witness to his presence.

No one knew what kind of hornets these were, but they were half the size of a finger, with stingers nearly half an inch long. It didn’t take much imagination—one sting would be the end.

“Brother Hao, why do those hornets keep chasing him?” Hou Junji lay sprawled in a tree, hands shading his eyes like a curious monkey. On his head was a grass hat, clumsily woven under Yun Hao’s instruction, making him look all the more comical.

“Fool, he’s got the queen’s scent on him. Naturally, the hornets are attracted. Don’t think hornets just go mad and sting people for no reason. Here’s a secret: after a hornet stings, it dies. The stinger pulls out part of its guts. Unless there’s a huge benefit or they’re truly provoked, they won’t risk their lives. Wild hornets like to take over bee hives. I just used that principle—had some royal jelly smeared on him by Laishun. Didn’t expect it to work so well.”

But Qi Guoyuan hadn’t become Third Chief of Shaohua Mountain for nothing; he was resourceful enough. He’d fashioned a reed tube, hid his body in the water, and breathed through the stalk, leaving the hornets buzzing above in vain.

“Alright, is everything prepared?” Yun Hao turned to Hou Junji.

“Brother Hao, isn’t this a bit much? He just stripped you of your clothes and smacked you a few times. Isn’t this revenge a little excessive?” Hou Junji shivered at the thought of Yun Hao’s methods—this boy was ruthless! Was he really only seven?

“Excessive? If it had been you stripped naked and thrown in front of everyone, would you tolerate it? Not to mention he slapped my backside! Remember, my behind is a tiger’s behind—untouchable!” The humiliation of being stripped and exposed still made Yun Hao seethe. He might have the mind of a sixty-year-old, but that didn’t mean he would swallow this insult. If he didn’t settle the score with Qi Guoyuan, he’d lose all authority and be a child everyone could bully. If not for this, Yun Hao would never have bothered with these tricks.

“You’re only seven?” Hou Junji was puzzled. When he was seven, he’d been manhandled by old men too; why was Yun Hao so sensitive?

“Seven, and already someone strips and beats me? Once again—my backside is a tiger’s backside. Touch it and you die!”

“Alright, alright! I’ll go see if Shunzi and Biaozi are ready!” Hou Junji, intimidated by Yun Hao’s fierce glare, shuddered. This kid was incredibly domineering. Was he really just seven? Watching Yun Hao’s retreating figure, Hou Junji couldn’t help but think he looked more like an old man.

No one knew how long it took, but eventually Qi Guoyuan managed to outlast the hornets. He crawled ashore, utterly spent, and Yun Hao ran over from a distance. Seeing Qi Guoyuan sprawled on the bank like a turtle sunning itself, Yun Hao called out, “Chief Qi, look at all that mud! Come clean up before you catch a chill.”

Qi Guoyuan’s teeth nearly cracked with rage at the sight of Yun Hao. But the boy was slippery and hard to catch. Helpless, Qi Guoyuan got up; Erxian Village wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small either—thankfully, no one had seen his sorry state. Glancing around to make sure the coast was clear, he hurried back to his own courtyard.

There were people in the yard, so he didn’t enter through the main door but climbed in through the back window. Inside, he found a large wooden tub filled with steaming hot water. He reached in; the temperature was perfect.

“Who brought hot water here?” He stuck his head out the window, suspicious.

“Oh, Brother Hao—the cook—said you fell in the water and would need a bath, so he brought it in. Chief, your hair’s all wet. Are you alright?”

“Nothing… mind your business! Get lost!” Qi Guoyuan dismissed the underling impatiently. He hated Yun Hao—surely the brat had already spread word of his disgrace through the village. His reputation, built over a lifetime, was ruined.

But hate or no hate, he had to wash. Sighing, Qi Guoyuan slipped into the tub. After soaking so long in cold water, the hot bath was indescribably soothing. His belly, though, continued its betrayal—gas bubbled up, echoing mournfully around him. “Just you wait, brat,” he muttered. “Once I’ve recovered, we’ll see who has the last laugh…”

More bubbles surfaced.

“Chief Qi, that’s not very gracious. I had the water brought in for you, and this is how you treat me? No good deed goes unpunished!” Somewhere outside, a small head popped into the window. Yun Hao’s mocking voice filtered in.

“You brat, you’re asking for death!” Qi Guoyuan shot up with a splash, realized he was naked, and ducked back into the water. Across the courtyard lived womenfolk—if he were seen, the label of lecher would be impossible to shake.

“Maybe, maybe not. But I put some alfalfa powder in your bath. It’ll make your skin itch like mad—people have scratched themselves bloody, some even to death. You stripped me and beat me; isn’t this fair revenge? By the way, you should be feeling it now…”

Qi Guoyuan’s heart lurched. Sure enough, his skin tingled—not just itched, but felt numb. Poisoned! His eyes bulged. He feared nothing except venom. In these times, there was no such thing as an antidote—people would cut off limbs when bitten by snakes. A single bite from something poisonous could ruin a man forever.

“I’ll kill you!” Qi Guoyuan, terrified and furious, lost all reason. For stripping and spanking the boy, he was being subjected to this? Even if Qin Qiong beat him to death later, he had to settle the score now!

Naked, he charged out like a madman. Yun Hao was already at the gate, his little legs pumping comically as he ran.

“Stop!” Qi Guoyuan, eyes bloodshot, gave chase like a man possessed.

Just as he reached the gate, his foot caught on something and he fell flat. From nearby, a chorus of women’s screams erupted: “Catch the lecher!”

Qi Guoyuan’s mind buzzed—he was finished.