Chapter 158: The Lazy Genius

"The wind blows bleakly, the Yi River is chill! The stalwart warrior departs, and this old man shall return!" Facing the distant city of Jinyang, Yun Hao recited a lewdly modified verse with great gusto. Li Jing stared with a blank, foolish expression; Zhang Zhongjian swayed his head as if sipping fine nectar; and Changsun Wuji, lying nearby, curled his lips in disdain.

"The Yi River flows back to Hebei, and ahead lies Jinyang." Truly, fools were everywhere. The bright and clever Hongfu offered earnest instructions to Yun Hao, this fragile sapling of the Sui Dynasty! Li Jing's mouth twitched unnaturally, and Zhang Zhongjian burst into hearty laughter.

Originally, they had traveled in three separate carriages, but after Yun Hao had Hou Junji rearrange his carriage, everyone had crowded into it. The carriage, which had previously seemed spacious, instantly became cramped. Since it was filled with brilliant minds, naturally the carriage Yun Hao rode in was the most comfortable. Besides, crowding together with many people was a bit warmer. No one had any objections, especially Zhang Zhongjian, who sat beside Hongfu. Li Jing, on the other side, though filled with reluctance, had no other choice. Hongfu insisted on squeezing into this carriage, which was lined with sheepskins and allowed one to sink deeply into the seats.

"Ah, so it turns out to be Jinyang. This youngster has been enlightened!" Sunk deep into the wool and looking serene, Yun Hao cupped his fists toward Hongfu, putting on the appearance of an obedient child.

Li Er had led hundreds of elite cavalry to escort the party back to Jinyang. Looking at the increasingly familiar city walls, Yun Hao felt a complex mixture of emotions.

Politics was a devouring demon that constantly consumed human lives; since ancient times, countless people had been swallowed up without even a trace of residue left. If not for his good luck this time, he surely would have been devoured down to the very bone.

He simply couldn't afford to provoke them! Yun Hao sorrowfully realized that, as a toiling commoner from a humble background, he was severely lacking in so-called political wisdom. For a child to meddle in a political whirlpool—being played to death was a certainty, while surviving was merely a stroke of fortune.

Yun Hao discovered a huge discrepancy between his understanding of life and actual life. He had originally wanted to live a life of eating and waiting for death, yet he kept getting dragged into scenes of flashing swords and gleaming blades. This time, if Changsun Wuji hadn't carried him on his back, he might have already turned into wolf dung, scattered here and there without even a fixed grave mound to call his own.

He could no longer draw close to this political vortex. Yang Gao was now the emperor—none other than the historically notorious Emperor Yang of Sui!

From now on, Li Yuan would have to tuck his tail between his legs like a jackal. Facing an emperor who constantly wanted to catch Li Yuan's little flaws, such a trembling existence would last a full ten years.

Old Sun was a good man; just as they arrived in Jinyang, this divine physician solemnly assigned a terrifying name to Yun Hao's illness... typhoid fever!

Given the extremely underdeveloped state of medical science in this era, Yun Hao reckoned that typhoid was not much different from the common cold. Both were ailments that could claim a life at any moment. He finally understood why people in this era rarely bathed, especially in winter. Rather than endure the bites of lice, they preferred to live in filth. There was no help for it; a cold really could kill you, and that was no joke.

Yun Hao greatly appreciated the diagnosis Old Sun had given him, because typhoid fever had one distinct characteristic: it was contagious. At the risk of being infected, Li Er paid a cordial visit to Yun Hao. Toward a professional authority of Old Sun's caliber, Li Er held a high degree of respect. Seeing Yun Hao in high spirits, engaged in a life-and-death struggle with a fatty chicken, Li Er pinched his nose and accepted Old Sun's verdict.

However, when Li Er left, he gave Yun Hao a profound and meaningful look. A distracted Yun Hao ate the chicken's rear end without even realizing it.

Once the carriage reached Jinyang, Yun Hao finally understood what the meaning behind Li Er's look was. The great, wise, and astute Old Mister Li Yuan was not in Jinyang at all—His Imperial Majesty had kicked the bucket. As the late emperor's most loyal subject and nephew, and the new emperor's not-so-loyal subject and cousin, Li Yuan had to make a trip to Luoyang no matter what!

He had played the villain for nothing! Thinking of Li Er's look, Yun Hao instantly knew what it meant. Aside from disdain, it was motherfucking disdain. He had calculated everything, yet how could he have forgotten the fact that Li Yuan had to go to Luoyang to mourn the deceased emperor?

Since he was faking an illness, Yun Hao had no face to recover immediately. The carriage drove straight to the Yun family estate, and from far away, he saw his mother and wife standing in the cold wind, craning their necks in eager anticipation. Yun Hao had spent a tumultuous winter away, leaving his family behind to worry and fear.

As soon as Yun Hao's carriage arrived at the estate, Lady Zhao and Zhang Miaoke practically rushed over. Clinging to the railings of the carriage, their eyes immediately welled with tears. Their weeping and wailing shook the radius of ten miles; anyone who knew would realize Yun Hao was sick, but anyone who didn't would think Yun Hao had kicked the bucket!

"My son, you've suffered." Lady Zhao hugged Yun Hao; if Old Sun hadn't been standing right beside them, she would have pulled him to her bosom to nurse him. Nearby, Zhang Miaoke wept with tear-stained eyes, seeming to harbor a similar sentiment.

"Mother, what suffering? Didn't I return safe and sound? You're sitting on my hair."

"Oh, let's go home. It's good to be home, good to be home." Lady Zhao hurriedly lifted her arm. Long hair had this one bad drawback: it was frequently sat upon. If one tried to stand up and yank it away at that moment, the pain would pierce straight to the heart. Yun Hao and Zhang Miaoke often encountered this trouble.

"This is Daoist Priest Sun!" Old Sun stood awkwardly to the side. Since he was surrounded by female relatives, he wanted to hide, but the carriage was only so big. Furthermore, Lady Zhao and Zhang Miaoke blocked the exit, leaving Old Sun with no way out.

"Oh, greetings, Daoist Priest Sun." Lady Zhao offered a greeting, but her gaze quickly returned to Yun Hao. It lingered on Old Sun for not even two seconds. Clearly, this country mother had no idea who Old Sun was.

While Lady Zhao did not know, Zhang Miaoke certainly did. Hearing that this old Daoist was none other than the renowned Sun Simiao, Zhang Miaoke's eyes instantly lit up. "So it is Daoist Priest Sun who has lent his aid. This concubine, on behalf of my mother and husband, thanks the Daoist priest." Despite the limited space inside the carriage, Zhang Miaoke still managed to bow respectfully. With a warm and enthusiastic smile on her face, her small mouth parted just enough to reveal four teeth, fully displaying the deportment of a noble young lady!

"Hahaha! This poor Daoist has merely exerted a meager effort! Now that we've reached the estate, you should hurry and carry Brother Hao into the house. After all, a carriage is not as warm as a house!" Old Sun was very modest. Both Lady Zhao and Zhang Miaoke wore heavy perfume, a scent Old Sun thoroughly disliked. His nose was too accustomed to medicinal herbs, making it far less sensitive to other aromas.

To protect his nose, Old Sun desperately wanted to jump out the window.

"Oh, right, right, right. We're home, what are we still doing staying in the carriage? Liu Laoliu, quickly call men to carry Brother Hao down." At Lady Zhao's shout from inside the carriage, an attentive Liu Laoliu brought two servants aboard. Upon seeing Yun Hao's appearance, they too wept tears and wailed as if attending a funeral.

Finally returning to his warm and cozy little nest, Yuan'er thoughtfully tucked the blankets around Yun Hao. Old Sun slipped away at the first opportunity, fleeing in panic. He had no idea how much perfume had been sprayed in this room, and he felt a strong urge to sneeze.

Lady Zhao sat beside Yun Hao's bed; no matter how he tried to comfort her, her tears just kept falling, leaving Yun Hao feeling utterly helpless. In the end, he had no choice but to feign unconsciousness to get through the ordeal.

"Mother has left, what are you still pretending for? There's no such thing as being unconscious while your eyelids are still twitching." Zhang Miaoke's gentle little hand slipped under the quilt and pinched the inner thigh of Yun Hao's leg, then slid further upward...

"I'm a patient, stop teasing me." Yun Hao was utterly sick of this aristocratic young lady with potential female-hooligan tendencies. Fumbling around wouldn't accomplish a thing. He was eight years old... ah no, the new year had passed, so he was considered nine. With a nine-year-old body like his, he couldn't possibly handle her budding flower yet.

"Take your hand out of my skirt, and I'll stop tormenting you." Zhang Miaoke grabbed hold of Yun Hao's mischievous paw and dragged it out.

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longer having to live a life of displacement, Yun Hao felt that home was heaven. Lying in bed every day, he received the most meticulous care. Surrounded by beauties day and night, with fragrant perfumes drifting about—this, motherfucker, was the kind of life people were meant to live. Yun Hao felt that running around for the interests of the Li family was utterly stupid. Having lived two lifetimes, if he didn't enjoy himself at a time like this, when the hell was he supposed to enjoy it?

During Yun Hao's absence, the family had built a new greenhouse. Inside, it was planted with all sorts of flowers, and Zhang Miaoke proved to be self-taught in this domain. She actually knew how to use temperature to control the blooming time of the flowers. Yun Hao considered this a purely decadent aristocratic lifestyle; building such a greenhouse was better suited for growing vegetables like cucumbers and string beans. Regardless, in an era where food and clothing were not yet fully secured, growing flowers was truly extravagant.

"What do you know? Grow vegetables, you say? These flowers haven't even fully grown yet, and people have already reserved them. Even if you grew ten acres of cucumbers, you could only trade them for two pots of flowers." Zhang Miaoke retorted at great length!

Ever since Zhang Miaoke had sent two pots of flowers to each of the prominent families in Jinyang city on New Year's Day, orders had flown into the Yun family estate like snowflakes. Being able to grow green vegetables was already considered miraculous, but to be able to raise flowers in the dead of winter—and have those flowers budding and ready—was astonishing. Within two days of arriving at a household, they would bloom in brilliant splendor.

Early in the morning, when charcoal ashes were gone, there were still fragrant flowers displayed in the bedroom. The chief wives of households regarded these items as symbols of a principal wife's status; if a concubine dared to display a pot in her room, she would be dragged out and beaten to death within minutes.

Among flower lovers, the most obsessed was Lady Changsun. Her favorite was the peony, and as the Yun family's most important business partner, the greenhouse was naturally filled with peonies. Zheng Guanyin's favored herbaceous peonies occupied only a very small corner.

Zhang Miaoke didn't care much for peonies. While these flowers were undeniably pretty, they lacked fragrance and couldn't be used to make perfume. By now, perfume had become the pillar industry of the Yun family. It was said that exports had already reached Luoyang, where palace consorts were secretly placing orders even during the period of national mourning. Word had it that even the newly appointed Empress Xiao was secretly using it.

Yun Hao had nothing to say. In terms of land utilization and unit efficiency, Zhang Miaoke was right. With minimal input, she had achieved maximum output—it was absolute perfection in the golden ratio of cost to yield.

On a fine day, Yun Hao lay inside the greenhouse, surrounded by beauties waiting on him hand and foot, as well as blossoms of every hue. In the winter of the Sui Dynasty, even the newly enthroned Emperor Yang of Sui, Yang Guang, might not have enjoyed such treatment. With such exceptional conditions, how could he not take a good nap without failing his hardworking body? Yun Hao lay back in a rocking chair while Yuan'er thoughtfully draped a blanket over him. Following behind Yun Hao's heels and ensuring he didn't catch another chill was currently her top priority.

"Get up, get up!" The rocking chair received two kicks, and Yun Hao nearly tumbled out of it. Yuan'er wanted to rage but dared not speak out; among the Yun family's guests, this one was the absolute last person to be offended, as the mistress had carefully instructed her.

Sun Simiao had paced back and forth eight times in front of Yun Hao's rocking chair, yet still failed to reform this stubborn, lazy wretch. Having stayed at the Yun family estate for half a month, Old Sun had finally come to fully appreciate this child prodigy—he was lazy to a hair-raising degree, preferring to lie down rather than sit, and sit rather than stand.

These past few days, Old Sun had been deeply shocked at the Yun family estate. In the dead of winter, one could actually eat fresh green vegetables; in Luoyang, even a prince might not have enjoyed such treatment. All day long, the estate was wreathed in the steam of distilling liquor, and that stuff wasn't even meant for human consumption. Old Sun had taken a single sip, and it burned from his throat all the way to his stomach. His entire esophagus felt like it was on fire, and the overpowering alcohol fumes rushed straight to his brain.

More than once, Sun Simiao had witnessed fellows who sneaked drinks wishing they were dead the next day, suffering excruciating agony, yet people still sneaked drinks in an endless stream. As soon as Zhang Zhongjian arrived at the Yun family estate, he fell hopelessly in love with the stuff. Every morning, he was seen with a cloth band wrapped tightly around his head; reportedly, pulling it this tight helped alleviate the pain, though goodness knows what scientific basis there was for that.

And yet, this very substance could be used to treat wounds. Sun Simiao had witnessed its therapeutic effects on Hou Junji and Changsun Wuji, and they were exceptionally, remarkably good. According to Chai Shao, back during the scorching weather of August and September, this stuff had successfully prevented Li Er's wounds from worsening. In such sweltering heat, for a wound not to fester and the patient not to run a high fever—in this era, that could only be considered a miracle.

Not only that, but stoves, honeycomb coal, refined coke...! Everything left Sun Simiao dizzy with wonder. Yet, a fellow who could conjure up so many good things and possessed such freakish skills was lazy to a hair-raising degree.

Instead of using the fine greenhouse to cultivate medicinal herbs during the winter, he was growing these decorative flowers and plants—what an utter waste of heavenly treasures!

This person was not someone to be trifled with, and in the future, if anyone in the family fell ill, they would still have to beg him. Having been kicked, Yun Hao had no choice but to prop himself up and bow.

"This youngster has been pondering the composition of a medicinal formula, but we're just lacking a single ingredient from the lands of Diannan called Tianqi. If we had that herb, we could produce a top-tier wound-healing powder. It dissolves upon contact with blood, can rapidly seal wounds, and prevent bleeding. The combination of herbs goes..." To hoodwink Old Sun, Yun Hao simply contributed the recipe for Yunnan Baiyao. Such a miraculous medicine was the most effective bait for an apothecary addict like Old Sun.

"You're saying that as long as we have that ingredient, Tianqi, we can truly manufacture a top-tier wound-healing powder? It dissolves upon contact with blood?" Old Sun grabbed Yun Hao by the collar and demanded.

"Precisely, and this youngster also knows...!" Just as Yun Hao was about to continue, he suddenly saw Liu Laoliu burst in as if chased by a pack of wild dogs, running and shouting at the top of his lungs: "A fight has broken out! A fight has broken out!"