Volume One, Chapter 46: How Does It Feel to Be a Eunuch?

“The Crown Princess truly is a free spirit.” Lin Wan’er had been visiting Xie Shu these past few days for casual chats. During her pregnancy, she was often irritable, and the prescribed medicine to stabilize the fetus was bitter beyond measure. Only these daily conversations with Xie Shu brought her a peculiar kind of joy.

At this moment, Xie Shu reclined in a rocking chair, gently swaying, basking in the sunlight and sipping tea, exuding the serene ease of a secluded hermit. These days, it was rare for anyone to disturb her.

Yet, the Western Garden was unnervingly quiet. Xie Shu’s eyelids twitched occasionally, a faint unease lingering beneath her calm exterior. Because of this, she welcomed Lin Wan’er’s company even more warmly—after all, Lin Wan’er’s pregnancy was precious indeed.

“Walk more slowly. A pregnant woman should be more careful,” Xie Shu advised, turning her head to see Lin Wan’er striding boldly toward the steps.

“Madam Lin, take your time,” Qiuyue, who was warming tea nearby, hurried over and gently supported Lin Wan’er’s arm.

Lin Wan’er glanced at her, aware that Qiuyue had once served Lady Li. After a brief touch, she shrugged off Qiuyue’s hand and quietly sat down on the chair beside Xie Shu, tasting a piece of perilla cake placed on the table.

In just a few days, Lin Wan’er’s belly had noticeably rounded.

Though Lin Wan’er had never borne a child, even she could tell from Madam Lin’s belly that it hardly seemed to be just over a month along.

Harboring doubts, she feigned surprise, “Madam Lin, perhaps you’ve been eating too much; your belly looks quite large already.”

Xie Shu looked down at Lin Wan’er’s stomach and nodded, “You should eat less. If it grows too big, childbirth will be difficult.”

Years ago, Xie Shu’s mother had died from hemorrhaging during childbirth due to a large fetus.

She often wondered if her mother might have survived had she been smaller and less gluttonous.

Though no one ever blamed her for her mother’s death, Xie Shu sometimes fell into self-reproach.

Everyone thought Xie Shu’s arrogance stemmed from being spoiled, but few knew it was also part of her inherently stubborn nature. Though she appeared fearless, she was secretly timid and easily frightened.

That was why, in her previous life, even the slightest care from Ning Rongsheng had pushed her into an abyss.

This time, she vowed never to repeat that mistake.

Love and affection were all but illusions.

Lin Wan’er gently caressed her swelling belly, a tender smile gracing her face. “If I eat too little, I worry the child won’t grow well. I don’t want to wrong him.”

Xie Shu was momentarily stunned. Perhaps her mother had thought the same.

Her nose tingled with emotion; she quickly closed her eyes and feigned sleep.

---

“Is the Crown Princess feeling sleepy?” Lin Wan’er noticed her languid demeanor. With the sun high in the sky, it was a perfect time for a nap, so she refrained from further disturbance.

The winter sun melted the remaining snow, dissipating much of the cold from the courtyard.

Newly sprouted grasses stretched their leaves, soaking in the warmth.

Just as Xie Shu was about to doze off, she suddenly sat upright with a sharp snap of her fingers. “Oh no! I almost forgot!”

“Forgot what?” Sitting nearby, Liu Yu was embroidering a handkerchief and was startled by the outburst, accidentally pricking her thumb. She quickly sucked on it to stop the bleeding.

Rubbing her temples, Xie Shu felt a headache coming on. She had nearly forgotten her ten-day appointment with Pei Xuanqing.

That painting... the turquoise landscape!

Yes, yes, she vaguely recalled seeing it somewhere.

Think, think! Where was it?

Suddenly, a flash of insight hit her.

“It’s been days—I miss him terribly. Come on, let’s go greet the Crown Prince,” Xie Shu called out to the two women behind her.

Qiuyue’s face fell. Hesitantly, she asked, “Crown Princess, don’t you dislike the Crown Prince?”

“True, but after all, they’re husband and wife. Can they avoid each other forever?” Xie Shu dusted off the crumbs of perilla cake from her sleeve and said, “If you don’t want to come, then you don’t have to.”

Following the new mistress to see the old one would be awkward indeed.

Xie Shu was always understanding and never forced anyone.

Qiuyue hesitated, biting her lip. After some thought, she whispered, “If I may be honest, I’d rather not go.”

“Then stay in the courtyard and wait for me.” Xie Shu smiled and gave her instructions. “By the way, since the sun is so good, please lay out the quilts and cotton bedding to air them.”

Qiuyue quickly agreed and hurried off to the inner chambers to tidy up.

Watching her rush away, Liu Yu felt uneasy and quietly suggested to Xie Shu, “Why not have Xinghe watch over her?”

Xie Shu shook her head. “Xinghe is just a child. Let Xiao Anzi take her out to play more instead.” Children shouldn’t be involved in these matters.

“Let’s go for a stroll to clear our minds.”

Heading south of the Eastern Garden, past a plum grove, lay Ning Rongsheng’s Orchid Courtyard.

The path was paved with uneven stones, a bit rough on the feet. Xie Shu took her time walking, pausing occasionally without hurry.

Yet, upon finally arriving, she found a pile of discarded belongings at the courtyard gate, surrounded by several guards forming a tight circle.

“Hmm? Are they waiting for me?” Xie Shu blinked in surprise, uttering two curious “huhs.”

Xiao Jiu, nearly dozing at the gate, was kicked hard and scrambled to wipe his mouth, startled to find no drool.

When he looked up, he froze, his trembling fingertip pointing as he stammered, “The... the... Crown Princess is here!”

Xiao Jiu was truly scared out of his wits. Whenever Xie Shu appeared, his young master would surely be furious—especially at this very moment when he was already in a rage.

Inside, Ning Rongsheng, half-dressed, was desperately employing every folk remedy he knew, but still his condition refused to improve.

His once coarse beard had softened, which frustrated him so much that he decreed no man in the household was allowed to grow facial hair.

“Why so unhappy to see me?” Xie Shu smiled, lips curling up, but her eyes gleamed with icy malice.

Before Xiao Jiu could announce her arrival, Liu Yu stepped forward and shoved him aside. “A good dog doesn’t block the way.”

Poor Xiao Jiu was thus pushed aside.

“Who goes there?”

Inside, Ning Rongsheng heard footsteps despite having strictly ordered Xiao Jiu to admit no one.

“It’s me, of course,” Xie Shu said triumphantly as she pushed open the door.

Caught off guard, Ning Rongsheng hastily pulled up his trousers, the waistband still undone.