Chapter 52: The First Person I Ever Liked
Lin Shu widened her nostrils and pupils simultaneously.
Amidst her panic, she finally noticed that the tips of Xie Buchend's ears were as red as blood. Though it wasn't immediately obvious on his face, beneath his pale, delicate skin, there was a faint flush that extended down to his neck, matching the redness of his ears.
It was the exact same reaction Zhou Ya had when she saw Lin Zhou.
Ah, she should have sensed it much earlier.
Lin Shu's breathing gradually grew steady.
Yet her heartbeat grew increasingly distinct.
She wanted to cry.
Not out of being moved.
Rather, she felt a complex mixture of emotions, where sorrow far outweighed joy.
If her soul were still a blank sheet of paper at seventeen—untouched by ambiguous romance and a hopeless marriage—she might have been overjoyed in the face of Xie Buchend's confession. No, she probably would have jumped for joy.
She knew she wasn't without affection for Xie Buchend.
There was nothing wrong with him.
Heaven knows how difficult it is for someone who has experienced ugly things to still grow into a good person.
Not to mention how well-matched their personalities were.
It was just that...
It was just that upon seeing an apple, her tongue could no longer produce saliva; she could only think of its future ugly rot.
He had laid his true heart out before her, so brave and sincere.
Yet all she could see were the various ugly facades Ji Xingshen wore after marriage.
They were still so young.
Yet the days stretched out so long.
If she agreed, what would happen if Xie Buchend stopped liking her further down the road?
She knew that playing the coward was wrong.
However, her courage regarding love had long since been completely depleted.
"Why are you making that crying face?"
Xie Buchend pulled back, his shoulders dropping, and looked at her with amusement.
The tips of his ears were still as red as blood, yet his tone when speaking was even more lazy and nonchalant than usual.
His gaze was dim, but his expression was lifted upward.
To look at him, there was not the slightest sign of injury.
Xie Buchend said, "I was just teasing you, and you took it seriously? I was afraid you might like me, and if I handed Daifuku over to you, what would you do if you threatened me with the dog to make me marry you?"
...
"Who wants you to marry me?"
Lin Shu paused, deciding to put on an exasperated expression.
Xie Buchend crossed his arms and smiled faintly, "Hard to say, someone has a long record of previous offenses."
"...I just haven't felt up a muscular guy before," she said.
Ah, what should she do?
Why was her brain automatically playing old Xue's song "Actor"?
Xie Buchend raised an eyebrow, "I don't count as a muscular guy."
"Nonsense! If you don't count, who does?! Those scrawny roosters at our school?!"
Xie Buchend bent over and laughed, as if genuinely amused, the corners of the boy's eyes holding a hint of moisture.
He reached out and roughly ruffled her hair, turning Lin Shu's bangs into the shape of baby hair.
Lin Shu pushed him away with disgust.
Xie Buchend said guys like his cousin with the tattooed sleeves counted.
Lin Shu shook her head incessantly, "Scrawny roosters won't do, but bullfrogs won't do either. Your cousin looks like he could punch my head off with one blow."
Xie Buchend let out a hum, "You think I can't?"
Lin Shu processed this for a moment, and this time she really glared at him in annoyance.
Whose head was he planning to punch off? :)
Xie Buchend slanted a look at her.
Lin Shu extended her index finger and thumb, aimed them at the boy, fired three imaginary shots, and enunciated clearly with sound effects, "Pew, pew, pew—"
Xie Buchend clutched his chest and fell backward.
He died very perfunctorily.
Lin Shu told him to die again.
Xie Buchend lazily straightened up and lowered his gaze, "Don't want to die anymore."
"Die one more time, please."
"Beg me."
"I'm begging you!"
"Still not dying."
"..."
Not good.
The silly dog has grown some wits.
...
Lin Shu didn't want to lose Xie Buchend.
...
As the sun set, Daifuku was wheeled out. The anesthetic hadn't completely worn off yet, and the little dog was sticking out its pink, rounded tongue, looking utterly adorable.
Lin Shu poked the little pink tongue and snapped pictures rapidly.
The moment she thought Daifuku would be her dog from now on, how was that any different from Xie Buchend practically being her dog?
Thinking along those lines, Lin Shu's spirits lifted a little.
Clearly, she was taking pictures of the dog, yet she suddenly blurted out, "Xie Buchend, you can come to my house to see the dog anytime."
Please don't let our connection be severed right here.
Xie Buchend bent down to pet the curly-haired puppy, his gaze sweeping over Lin Shu with subtle ambiguity.
"Mmm."
He gave a soft response.
A silent sigh, silently dissipating.
...
Lin Shu and Xie Buchend stood together, scrolling through a shopping app on their phones to pick out a cage and pet supplies.
Daifuku woke up.
The doctor said it needed to stay for observation.
If it recovered well, it could be discharged tomorrow.
Lin Shu had to go home, but Xie Buchend decided to stay and keep watch.
After all, the dog was getting older, and having its owner around provided psychological reliance.
Lin Shu went out, bought a bag of snacks, and shoved them into Xie Buchend's hands.
Xie Buchend said thank you.
Lin Shu waved her hand, locked eyes with him for a brief moment, and quickly looked away.
...
Lin Shu left the hospital, walking past the bus stop for home, past the subway station for home, passing street after street, building after building.
Everyone's features were clear, and everyone looked like Xie Buchend...
Her body felt very hot.
Yet she didn't have a fever.
Lin Shu knew Xie Buchend was sincere, and she was grateful for his consideration, which spared her from having to utter cruel words to end this precious friendship.
She felt like a survivor of a catastrophe, yet she was indescribably lost.
Lost about what?
She didn't know.
Did she simultaneously fear receiving love and fear losing it?
How was this any different from a manipulative green tea bitch who excelled at toying with people?
Ahhhhh!
Lin Shu inexplicably hopped up a step, then hopped back down.
Passersby looked at her strangely.
She kept jumping back and forth like this until her foot cramped, at which point she limped onto the bus and obediently headed home.
...
Pet hospital.
Inpatient ward.
Xie Buchend stood before the sliding glass door, stroking Daifuku's fur.
The little puppy gently nuzzled his hand.
Its watery, black eyes resembled grapes.
This was a dog he had raised since childhood, and he had even named it himself because its shape and color bore a strong resemblance to the dessert daifuku.
His happy memories were always intertwined with the little dog.
When he was sad, just thinking of it would ease his pain.
In the past, it would always lie across his lap while he stayed up late doing homework, accompanying him longer than his parents ever did.
Now that he had some matters weighing on his heart, it seemed he could only talk to it.
"Daifuku, I like Lin Shu, but Lin Shu doesn't seem to like me..."
"Is it because I'm not outstanding enough?"
"Or is she still unable to forget Ji Xingshen..."
"Yet sometimes, I feel the way she looks at me isn't entirely innocent either; it even carries a hint of creepiness."
"What on earth is going through her head?"
"What exactly do girls have inside their brains?"
"Heh... Isn't she amusing? Sometimes she's frighteningly bold, and other times she's such a coward."
"Isn't she cute? Her face is so small, her eyes are so big, she doesn't pay much attention to her image when she laughs—often distorting her face—and sometimes she's a little bit mischievous."
"There won't be a second person like her, right, Daifuku?"
"... Perhaps I haven't completely failed. I should make some changes and take action to let her see my determination."
"But what does she still lack?"
"Even if I gave her everything, my everything amounts to nothing."
"I can't control it anymore; my head is full of her, and a voice tells me it simply has to be her."
"She might have put a spell on me."
"..."
"... Am I rushing things a bit? After all, we're both still young, and we don't even know where we'll go after graduation—our future is entirely unknown."
"When we grow up, when I am no longer a nobody, do you think she won't wait for me either?"
"After graduation, will we ever see each other again?"
...
How would a dog know?
Things even humans didn't know the answers to were being used to torment a little puppy.
Daifuku grew sleepy from the endless murmuring, let out a huge yawn, rested its chin on Xie Buchend's arm, tapped twice, and fell asleep.
...
Xie Buchend carefully withdrew his hand and closed the glass door.
A few other small animals were also hospitalized.
He checked them cage by cage.
He sat down on the waiting chair outside.
The director had come over again.
According to the doctor, before becoming the "director," the one-eyed ragdoll cat had been a house pet abandoned at the hospital by its owner due to illness. After the hospital cured it for free, its owner never came to pick it up, so it simply stayed and became the director.
It was a gentle little cat.
As soon as Xie Buchend sat down, it leaped up and meowed at him.
It was as if it were comforting him—
It's okay, meow.
₍˄·͈༝·͈˄*₎◞ ̑̑
Xie Buchend picked up the "director," rubbed his face against the cat's, and chuckled, "Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm not hurting, just a little sad."
Just a little?
The ragdoll cat suddenly meowed very loudly.
Xie Buchend buried his face in the cat's fluffy, fragrant chest fur, remaining motionless for a long time.
Fine.
He was very sad.
Perhaps everyone falling in love for the first time found it this painful.