Chapter 39: With a Face Full of Regret, She Wished Him a Horrible Death

Ji Xingshen leaned against the window.

The school bus kept moving forward, but his thoughts remained stranded in place, unable to take even a single step.

The crisp laughter of the girl overlapped with his dream.

Yet the person laughing with her was not him.

Ever since winter arrived, Lin Shu and Zhou Ya had always sat with Xie Buchend, sharing breakfast and exchanging banter. They were cheerful and harmonious with a delinquent like him, while completely ignoring Ji Xingshen.

He didn't want to listen, and he wanted to see it even less.

Yet memories that did not belong to the present constantly surfaced in his mind—

Shouldn't Lin Shu be knitting a scarf for him this winter?

Had she stopped giving him the tea-scented hand cream?

Was she no longer concerned about whether his hands were chapped? Nor worried that the cold wind would blow against his neck and make him cough easily?

Was she really not going to talk to him anymore?

Speaking of which, this month's financial aid and scholarship hadn't been disbursed yet, and his father kept urging him to ask about it...

……

Between classes for morning exercises.

Because ice pellets were drifting outside and it was freezing enough to make one shiver, everyone did the exercises half-heartedly before scuttling back into the classroom.

Lin Shu cupped her thermos and looked at the snow in the corridor.

The ice pellets drifted onto her head without melting, looking like tiny pearls. She exhaled a puff of whitish mist, her eyes bright and sparkling, with two ice pellets resting on her eyelashes.

Ji Xingshen walked up beside her and said, "Lin Shu, this month's financial aid and scholarships haven't arrived yet..."

Lin Shu was stunned for a moment.

As if she was unaccustomed to the sound of his voice.

After a long while, she turned her head and looked at him with a pitiful gaze—yes, pitiful.

Ji Xingshen's nerve endings of low self-esteem were tugged along with it, throbbing with pain.

It felt as though he had returned to the dining table when they first met.

He remembered the holes in his shoes.

Lin Shu sighed. "Didn't you know? Ji Xingshen, both grants have been canceled."

Ji Xingshen's gaze trembled.

Lin Shu originally didn't want to say much more; the relevant personnel should have already notified him, and she had no obligation to explain. But Ji Xingshen's completely clueless appearance reeked of something fishy.

Darkness was growing.

She wanted to shatter him to pieces herself, bit by bit.

Just like he had once trampled her flat, bit by bit.

"Your dad's salary is five thousand three, and your grandma has resident medical insurance and isn't hospitalized right now. Your family owns a house—what kind of impoverished student are you supposed to be?"

"My dad's workplace hasn't been doing well, they haven't paid wages in a long time..."

His voice was very low and trembling.

Saying these things at school must have been quite torturous for him.

After all, his public persona was that of a tall, rich, handsome academic god.

How pathetic.

Lin Shu said indifferently, "Oh, so that means the salary punch-in records provided by his workplace are fake, not to mention they haven't counted allowances, performance bonuses, and year-end bonuses yet."

Ji Xingshen stared fiercely at Lin Shu.

As if he wanted to devour her alive.

Lin Shu wasn't surprised in the least.

That look was all too familiar. Every time someone mentioned his hardworking and enduring father, Ji Xingshen wore this exact expression.

In the past, she admired his filial piety and sensibility.

Later, she realized that admiration was quite enough.

With their deep father-son bond, she was ultimately an outsider—the one who was sacrificed and ignored from beginning to end.

She couldn't compare to the old man above, nor could she compare to the mistresses, one, two, three, four, and five below.

Truly peerless.

Lin Shu sneered and said in a low voice, "No need to glare at me. I don't owe you anything. Besides, the compensation my family paid is enough for you to finish college. Don't be too greedy... it's disgusting."

Lin Shu turned to leave.

Ji Xingshen grabbed the girl's slender wrist.

"Who asked your family to pay compensation?"

[Part 1 of 3]

[Part 2 of 3]

"Your dad did. Didn't you know?"

"I told him it wasn't you, it was that punk! How could he blindly make your family pay?"

"Oh, so the signatures and fingerprints on the settlement agreement are all fake then."

"What settlement agreement?!"

Lin Shu pulled out her mobile phone and sent a photo of the signature page of the settlement agreement to Ji Xingshen.

Ji Xingshen tapped on it, and his phone almost dropped to the ground.

He zoomed in, dragged the image around... looking at it over and over again.

The compensation amount was shockingly large, practically resembling a scam or extortion.

No wonder the Lin family had cut off his scholarships and financial aid.

However, but...

"There must be some misunderstanding somewhere!"

Ji Xingshen gripped Lin Shu's wrist tightly, as if she were the one in the wrong.

What a wretched mess.

Lin Shu's voice was filled with regret, sounding like a farewell.

"...Ji Xingshen, you are so brilliant at studying, why are you like a blind man when it comes to certain things?"

"I couldn't figure it out before and always looked for the reasons within myself. Now I've figured it out—the one who needs to reflect isn't me."

"Regardless of whether there's a misunderstanding or not, don't bother me ever again. Keep using whatever I gave you, but there won't be any more in the future."

"From now on, you are you, and I am I."

"Well water does not interfere with river water. Okay?"

……

Ji Xingshen's grip tightened bit by bit, still refusing to face reality.

She was like a trophy to him.

One he had won with his excellent grades and handsome appearance, much like a certificate of merit pasted on a wall.

Lin Shu frowned.

Ji Xingshen's voice trembled, "Do you... not like me anymore?"

So he did know after all.

Just because he knew, he used her love to whip her, is that it?

Treating her like a tamed ox or horse.

This guy Ji Xingshen really was a cold-blooded beast.

The wind carried snowflakes, driving them finely into the corridor. The floor was covered in pockmark-like white specks, the classroom windows were frosted with moisture, and the curtains were drawn tightly shut.

Steamed buns were being steamed inside.

Dumplings were freezing outside.

Lin Shu exhaled a breath, a cold smile curving at the corners of her lips, as she pried open Ji Xingshen's pale, bruised fingers one by one.

"Not only do I not like you, I hope you come to a bad end."

……

How many resentful couples there are in this world.

Lin Shu once thought that she had merely worn out her love and hadn't reached the point of hatred.

But now that the words were spoken aloud, she realized she wasn't as nonchalant as she had imagined.

She could not let go.

She had thought he gradually turned into that disappointing Ji Xingshen of later days.

Life always manages to turn people unrecognizable.

She had believed that, at the very least, she once possessed the silent and clumsy version of him from their youth.

But in truth, Ji Xingshen had never changed.

Everything was nothing more than her own wishful thinking.

Lin Shu had said Ji Xingshen was so smart, yet always turned blind to obvious things—in truth, wasn't she the exact same way?

She had thought that loving someone meant giving one's heart sincerely and sparing no effort, while fundamentally failing to see whether that person was worth it.

She had prayed to the wrong Buddha and made a vain wish.

And so she knelt in long penance for half a lifetime.

How could she not hate?

……

[Part 2 of 3]

[Part 3 of 3]

The hatred erupting in Lin Shu's eyes was like magma; Ji Xingshen pulled his hand back as if burned.

He stared blankly at her resolute retreating back.

The warning bell rang, yet he remained dazed.

An indescribable flood of emotions welled up.

The pleasant memories that had mysteriously multiplied during his fever were like a fleeting dream, shattering all over the floor.

He chased after her.

Lin Shu returned to her seat and sat down steadily.

He walked over, clenched his fists tightly again, turned back, and returned to his own seat.

……

Huang Pingting glanced at Ji Xingshen, then looked at Lin Shu in the front row, and finally gazed at her own visibly declining English grades, recalling what the teacher had said.

"Lin Shu has a good grasp of essay writing. I'd like to allocate a couple of morning self-study sessions to her so she can share some model essays with everyone. What do you think is the best way to arrange this?"

How to arrange it?

Could they simply not arrange it at all?

Wasn't this slapping her, the class commissar, right across the face?

The teacher was biased toward her, and Ji Xingshen had been acting weird lately too, always secretly looking at Lin Shu.

And... the money she had fronted for the study session at the bookstore last time, Ji Xingshen still hadn't paid her back.

Could he have forgotten?

……

New Year's Day was utterly miserable.

There was only a single day off to begin with, and it happened to collide with a Saturday, which was practically equivalent to getting no time off at all.

Zhou Ya went to cram school.

Lin Shu went alone to the mall to queue up for the New Year limited-edition pastries. She had ordered them online, but still had to wait in line for two hours—it was killing her.

A box contained four pastries.

They did look a little pretty...

Lin Shu took photos from various angles to show off, intending to eat two and leave the remaining two for Zhou Ya. But the moment she took a single bite, she wilted like a frost-bitten eggplant.

No.

Pastries costing a dozen yuan each on average, barely larger than a bottle cap, how could they possibly taste this terrible!

Lin Shu's face was full of shock, and just as she was on the verge of absolute fury, an asking-for-it male voice reached her ears.

"Yo, Lin Shu, eating all the good stuff by yourself?"

It was Xie Buchend.

Great!

Hearing his voice, Lin Shu immediately played hide-and-seek with him. Wherever Xie Buchend walked, she walked in the opposite direction, shielding the pastries so he couldn't get them.

Xie Buchend laughed out of exasperation.

"Is this necessary? Are you guarding against a thief?"

Lin Shu turned her head, still stuffing her face, and reluctantly handed over the exquisite paper box with her small hand.

Curiosity arose in Xie Buchend. Despite hesitating for a fraction of a second when he saw the pastries were blue and yellow—looking somewhat ominous—compelled by Lin Shu's food-guarding behavior, he picked one up anyway and shoved it into his mouth.

……

……

……

Xie Buchend chewed it—well, for about a hundred and eight times, presumably.

He finally swallowed it down.

He pressed down on the top of Lin Shu's head.

Lin Shu blinked and swallowed dryly.

Xie Buchend said, "Lin Shu, were you born this malicious, or did you develop it later?"

Lin Shu forced a huge, brilliant smile.

"Innate talent combined with acquired effort. Don't try to keep up with me, you don't stand a chance!"

[Part 3 of 3]