Chapter 62: Grandfather's Notebook

"To put it simply and understandably, alexithymics have certain difficulties in the 'expression' and 'recognition' of emotions. It is not a mental illness; rather, it should be described as a negative personality trait."

Zhai Da stopped pushing his bicycle.

Shen Rui also came to a halt.

"Emotional expression disorder is only a minor issue. After all, many people are reticent or introverted. However, for a small minority with particularly severe cases, impairments also appear in 'emotional cognition,' which makes things rather troublesome."

"They cannot correctly identify their own emotions, let alone understand the emotions of others. Joy, sadness, and anger are all suppressed internally, and they are prone to misjudging the states of others. Just as you would feel pain and fight back if you were stabbed with a knife, they might simply watch the wound bleed quietly and calmly ask the person who stabbed them what they are doing."

Zhai Da trusted Shen Rui's intelligence, and he trusted his judgment as well. The crucial point was that... everything added up...

Unable to tell which remark was a joke, her own emotions were rarely displayed outwardly. Even when facing experiences that would cause ordinary people to break down, she would only shed tears silently.

Even... Zhai Da thought of an even more distressing possibility.

After going through so much, she was still providing gambling money to Lu Benqing... even while enduring long periods of hunger... was it because she had misjudged that brute of a father's promises?

Zhai Da let out a long breath. "Does this condition have a significant impact?"

Shen Rui shook his head. "That depends on the specific situation. Milder cases can be interpreted as being somewhat 'withdrawn.' Slightly more severe ones, if they intentionally engage with society, can barely manage to imitate normal behavioral patterns through intelligence and experience, avoiding major problems. Ultimately, however, this is not a favorable trait."

"Most importantly, one's own emotions are neglected and suppressed for a long time, leading to a lack of a sense of happiness and making one vulnerable to injury in interpersonal relationships. Over time, this may be accompanied by other psychological issues."

Shen Rui patted Zhai Da's arm. "Therefore, I hope that as you interact with Lu Wei, you can show some understanding. She was not born this way. As for the reasons behind it, if the two of you remain friends, you will gradually come to know them."

Zhai Da pressed further, "How can this condition be improved? Medication?"

Shen Rui shook his head. "Although everyone's condition varies in severity, medication is never the cure for problems of this nature. People are."

People... are...

The two continued on their way. Shen Rui did not bring up the topic again, giving Zhai Da some time to digest the information.

They reached the residential complex where Shen Rui lived. The elderly security guard at the gate smiled and nodded in greeting, making it clear that Shen Rui maintained good interpersonal relationships with most people here.

This residential complex was even older than the Sanmao district, perhaps comparable to the "Damao" level. Single-story houses and multi-story apartment buildings were intermingled, and the garbage station had already overflowed, emitting an unpleasant odor as the temperature gradually climbed.

This was not surprising; Shen Rui came from a working-class family at the woolen mill, and a teacher's salary was not high.

Zhai Da suddenly felt a twinge of pity for Shen Rui. Such a clever and gentle person, a PhD from R University who had made his way out of a small town—were they viewed by some people simply as a "small-town exam-taker"?

Were there many people around him who mocked him for failing to achieve soaring success? As if studying was worth a damn thing?

As they climbed the stairs, Zhai Da said, "Mr. Shen, I think President Yu seems like a good person. If you go to work in Xushi and join President Yu's enterprise, that would be quite nice."

"Even working as a consultant would be better than being a teacher."

Shen Rui did not seem surprised, but he did not answer Zhai Da, likely feeling that such a topic was unnecessary to discuss with a student.

Zhai Da realized he had asked to be snubbed.

Arriving at the apartment on the third floor, Shen Rui opened the door to reveal a neat and cozy two-bedroom unit. The scent inside reminded Zhai Da of a library—the distinct smell produced by piles and piles of books.

Just peeking inward from the doorway, there were already three separate bookcases, and they were packed to the brim.

It was evident that Mr. Shen did not have a wife or a girlfriend; there simply wasn't room for a second person to live here.

Given his age... his family must be getting anxious.

Oh... wait, Mr. Shen didn't have a mother either, so perhaps no one was pressuring him.

Since he was only stopping by to pick up an item, Zhai Da stated that he wouldn't step inside, saving the trouble of taking off and changing shoes. Shen Rui walked into the innermost small room and emerged three to five minutes later holding a notebook.

The moment it came into view, a green broken line appeared within Zhai Da's field of vision.

His grandfather's relic... was a special item...

Shen Rui brushed away non-existent dust from the notebook and placed it in Zhai Da's hands.

"Since these are not private letters, I skimmed a few pages."

"I won't answer your previous question, but perhaps you can find the answer in this notebook."

"From ancient times to the present, the definition of the pursuit of a goal should never be limited to money alone."

"Of course, it is still a bit too early for you to be thinking about this."

Zhai Da looked at the notebook in his hands. The dark red plastic cover was somewhat degraded, bearing the mottled traces of time. Apart from the portrait of that giant right in the middle, there was no other decoration.

It was very thick—so much so that calling it a "book" was entirely justified—with a spine two fingers wide.

On the back were two lines of printed text:

"Make the working people knowledgeable, and the intellectuals laboring people."

...

"Congratulations to the host, you have discovered the green special equipment [Yu Lihua's Metalworking Notes (Incomplete) (1/4)]: Training materials imbued with Yu Lihua's painstaking efforts. Not many people have perused them."

"Ownership: Acquired, activated."

"Equipment Effect 1: Carrying it slightly increases metalworking learning proficiency, with a double bonus when researching the contents of the notes themselves."

"Equipment Effect 2: Focusing on the notes themselves carries a very small probability of [temporarily] resonating with the notebook's owner. The probability of triggering bloodline, spiritual, and emotional 'bonds' is greatly increased, accompanied by special feedback."

"Special Effect 'Fragmented Wisdom': When performing learning, labor, or work related to 'manufacturing' after successfully triggering a resonance, there is a probability of experiencing a flash of insight."

"Unlocking Quest: Independently manufacture ten items."

"Special Effect 'Establishing the Mind': ??? (Equipment Incomplete)."

"Unlocking Quest: ???"

"Remarks: The hand that could control precision within two wires back then was already trembling uncontrollably when writing these notes."

Zhai Da opened the notebook cover. Inside were handwritten notes on manual labor and metalworking, including the manufacturing, specifications, and key points of various basic components.

Lathe, milling, planing, grinding, and fitting operations all seemed to be covered.

In addition to text, there were numerous hand-drawn diagrams.

The paper had yellowed with age, yet because no one had leafed through it, it remained pristine and flat.

Shen Rui said, "It seems to be a training manual your grandfather wrote back then for new workers at the plant. Later, when the document room was cleared out, my third uncle picked it out and kept it from being thrown away, and now it is returned to you."

"Originally, it should have been given to your mother, but... I suppose it is a matter of predestined affinity."

Unconsciously, Zhai Da used his index finger to trace the handwriting on the paper.

That grandfather, who had passed away when he was one year old and of whom he held not a single memory, now left ink marks resting at his fingertips.

Even the subtle indentations left by the fountain pen tip were transmitted to his brain through his fingerprints.

Zhai Da was stunned for a moment.

The next instant, his vision blurred.

He felt as though he had been rapidly pulled backward, tied to the tail of a high-speed train.

With a loud roar of "Hum—!", he appeared in a room both familiar and strange...

His own room...

Or rather, his room from twenty years ago.

A figure draped in a dark blue coat was hunched over the desk, writing something.

In the exact same spot, right at his usual study desk, facing the window.

Yes... he remembered now... his mother had once mentioned that after she got married, her grandfather had moved into the small room himself, giving up the master bedroom to his daughter and son-in-law.

So... he had always shared the exact same space with his grandfather...

The scene before him felt like a displaced spacetime.

Zhai Da wanted to step forward and tap that person on the shoulder, but it seemed he was merely a "perspective."

The coat-clad figure coughed a few times, appearing to be in some pain.

Yet his spine remained straight, not bending a single fraction of an inch from the agony.

Then, he wrote a few words.

On the very last page of the notebook.

"Zhai Da... Zhai Da?"

Zhai Da snapped out of it, looking at Shen Rui standing before him.

Shen Rui asked with a puzzled look, "What is wrong with you? Do you feel unwell anywhere?"

Zhai Da shook his head. "Sorry, I drifted off. I was just a bit too shocked... The thing in my hands is actually... written by my grandfather's own hands."

Shen Rui smiled. "Take it back and have a read. Of course, provided it doesn't interfere with your studies."

Zhai Da walked out of Shen Rui's apartment. The latter still needed to pack his luggage, as he was leaving for Xushi tomorrow.

He stood in the unfamiliar hallway, lost in a daze for a long time... Was that strange "memory" just now what they called "resonance"?

Finally, he took out the notebook and flipped to the final page.

He was curious about what his grandfather had written at the very end...

At the back of the notebook:

"The wheat has ripened thousands of times; long live the people for the very first time."

Zhai Da recited softly...